The recent shooting at the mall in Clackamas County, Oregon this week is outright shocking to me. During the afternoon, a leisurely stroll in the mall, perhaps window shopping while a heart melts at the sight of the holiday mall decorations of snowmen, trees, ornaments, teddy bears, Elves, even watching Santa and the excited children, all of it gloriously timed with the classic holiday music....a broken social engagement and promise of safety is shattered? I am- still- in shock at this thought. I live half a mile from an indoor mall. I consider it a safe zone. Why? I am lured there with food, drink, great discounts, all things that sparkle and shine and smell new. All things that make me laugh, make me look good and feel good, that's why I am lured there. I allow myself to feel safe. Among the enclosed walls, happy sales associates, many colors that are soothing and fragrances pumped into the airways, I feel wrapped in warmth and coziness. I remember a time, while living in California, indoor malls were new, and as I grew up when they became legendary, I always felt happy, safe, and could never get enough of them. It's not always about the shopping. It is about THE EXPERIENCE of all the sights and sounds of a safe and happy place--particularly because I first had these experiences when I was young..
But now, this shooting--although there has been others-- all of a sudden, this one incident bothered me. Is it the Christmas decorations? the music? was it the children standing in line waiting for the chance to talk to Santa? I realized tonight while watching the continuous news media piece together the lives, the souls lost, the customers' stories who call in to tell their nightmares....I wonder if I can declare a mall a safe place to be any longer? I wasn't even there....just think of the people and particularly--the children--who experienced this nightmare at Christmas, who had to walk out with their hands in the air, among the decorations and holiday music playing, only to walk up to a SWAT holding a gun..the sight of them alone is a nightmare..when you are young, you might not know they are safe, after all, they ARE holding a gun.
We know the lost souls will never come back and their families are living horrible loss. We know the young man who took their lives is gone and his family is feeling a loss as well. What we don't know is the impact the living will have as their lives move forward after this tragedy. We do not know if this time next year, someone will have nightmares but won't know why--or that a mother will never allow her teenager to go to a mall again and can't explain why she worries herself until that teen comes home.
For me, I am in shock and I wasn't there; but it is enough for me to imagine the nightmare every time I go to the mall. My hope and prayer is for the living of this tragedy. For the families who have presents for their loved one under the Christmas tree, for the families who will have a plate set up at the table and there will be a missing person in the chair, for the children and others who will remain in shock for a very long time, perhaps their entire lives, my heart is only lightened by this one phone caller into the Jane Velez Mitchell show tonight, when after Ms. Mitchell asked, "did you think why is this world getting so horrible etc. (not verbatim) " the caller responded, (Not verbatim)
"I would rather think of the heros that rose to the occasion. There was a man dressed all in black who ran over to me and my family and took us into the back room, got my kids candy and games and made sure they were feeling safe, then went back out.....there were so many people who actually, out of love of others, cared enough to help others, I would say I thought about how many people in this world actually spread their love during times like these and will help in any way, I'd like to think of those people and not of the bad in the world. I saw a lot of love"
Her words were poignant and worth remembering. Her words and wisdom, with her voice still shaking, even today, guide me--and now you--to remember the loving, caring, heros, who stepped out into the face of danger due to their unconditional love of others....that is the abiding lesson that turned me around tonight.
I don't want to think about the bad in this world so much that it gets me depressed; I want to remember the unwavering courage and love from others who are in those malls, walking, strolling to the Christmas music, standing in line with their children waiting for Santa, all seemingly strangers...but all tied together in an instant should we need each other....and if I remember the young mother's words, I think I will feel safe again in a mall, or anywhere.
We are very blessed, we can feel safe, strangers can be good and spread unconditional love when needed, in an instant.
-=brenda
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